Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76
I don't doubt that he loves his mother. After my mother died, I spent a month staying with my father. Then he told me he would be alright on his own. So I left. In. some cultures, it's normal for a widowed woman to live with an adult child. But we are not one of those cultures. Plus, she's young enough to have a new S.O. herself, so she would not be struggling on her own.
It seems to me that he can't make a move without her knowing all about it. Even if he didn't actually live in her basement. I think that would still be the case. He's not financially dependent on her. But he sure sounds abnormally involved with her. Even if it seems like she is dependent on him, it sure seems like the dependency goes two ways. Was he ever married or in a committed relationship before? If so, I wonder how that worked out? I'll bet his mom has strong opinions about any girlfriend he's ever had. I think a relationship with him would always be a "trio," even if he was living on the other side of town.
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Yep that’s what I always told him, in other countries this would be normal but we aren’t other countries. She’s got a boyfriend who she’s comfortable keeping at a distance and her son doesn’t like her bf either!
The basement was his dads office space so it’s an in law unit that could be rented out. It could be entered from the side door without ever having to go through the house .
No never married and never moved beyond dating.
One time we got in an argument about him having to defend me before his mom because she wondered why I wasn’t coming over or why I didn’t want to greet her, I don’t know.
I remember when she gave him a duffel bag for sleepovers . She was totally encouraging the relationship, as if exchanging sleepovers was a relationship.
As I mentioned to the other poster and I think even to you is we have the added complication of working together, being given time off together.
What a mess.
I appreciate you taking the time to respond .
I do know it’s good to have a safe space to talk about our issues even if they seem redundant. I’ve lost sponsors in other programs over relationships before so I’m very aware of that sometimes things can be too much. I’ve gotten in trouble in other communities too for posting about prior relationship troubles. My previous relationship was *much worse* then this one which is why I thought I had done well until things started coming to light.