So, I'm going to riff off here a little bit and maybe this will give you a different perspective, and if it's not helpful then just ignore it.

I have long held a belief that there are no good or bad people. There are just people who do good or bad things or have good or bad days.

Each of the people you come into contact with on a daily basis and throughout your life - they have each had their own internal struggles happening, their own responsibilities and obligations stressing them, and their own emotions to deal with.

Some people cannot treat others well when they are dealing with too many bad things in their lives, and they treat others poorly/badly. We are all human, and we all do this from time to time.

I am in my early 40s and still rebuilding my life after illness. I have found that a few old friends made it through the fire with me, but I've mostly had to make new friends. What is hard about that is when you try to develop a friendship, it really is about developing the relationship, the boundaries, parameters, and meeting each other's needs as friends. And, quite, honestly, it's been my experience that, in general, most people have a less than well-developed emotional intelligence. Therefore they have little interest in actually thinking if they are meeting their friend's needs or not.

True friendships are a challenge to develop because you have to be willing to develop emotional intimacy. And often people prefer to stay acquaintances because they don't have to take responsibility for what they do or how they might hurt you. This is where the good/bad things comes in.

I have embarked on a number of attempts to develop friendships with people who turned out to be people who did "bad" things to me and to others. My ex employee, who was a friend before she was an employee, has left a wake of destruction in her path her whole life. I could say she is a bad person. Rather I think she's someone who is centered on fulfilling her own needs. This doesn't make her good or bad as a person - it does make her a bad friend.

"Good friends are hard to find." This is the truest statement I've ever heard. I met my best friend here on PC. Developing our relationship has been a challenge but very rewarding. I've developed other friends in other places, but if you truly mean "a friend" and not just an acquaintance or buddy you share a hobby with, I think it's relatively normal to only have a few of these that you have a fully fleshed out friendship with. I mean, I have a large group of dog agility buddies, but I see them at trials, in some FB groups, and in training, and that's all we really talk about. And that's perfectly fine. I have my chamber ensemble buddies - we get together and play music. That's all. See where I'm going with this? I don't really know these buddies super deeply but I have fun doing activities with them. I don't really know if they are good or bad, per se. (Although I can tell you that Helen has a terrible ear and can't find F natural for her life.)

Where are all the good people? They are hidden gems all around you. You will have to do some digging to get to them. But I can tell you from personal experience, it is worth it. Yes, sometimes you get fooled by a fake. Has happened more than once to me. But cast those rocks out quickly and don't give them any more thought than you have to. Why waste time thinking about the bad ones when you can be spending time developing relationships with good ones?