Fuzzybear, this is very familiar to me and apparently to a lot of forum members too.

My mother has adopted this behaviour over many years. Well documented in another forum topic. Until recently I've ignored it as much as I can. However, I've now reacted more strongly to her behaviour. She's always been difficult; my brother is her favourite because he says what she wants to hear. As she's got older, this type of behaviour has become an obsession.

Her latest outburst was to say "I'd have sought revenge a few years ago for what you've just said". Who takes that stance with their daughter?! I asked her to be specific when saying I didn't show her any compassion. Earlier in the conversation, she'd said I'd been compassionate in taking her to medical appointments, doing shopping. What I haven't done is pander to her various moods, a lot of which is attention-seeking.

For my sanity, I've distanced myself. Should have done it years ago. In our minds, family/those close shouldn't behave this way so it's a massive shock when it happens.

Your self-esteem is very important. Being true to yourself, as you're an individual who may view things differently. Stay strong!