Quote:
Originally Posted by Britedark
Thank you so much for your kind reply. You have made me feel heard! To answer what you asked, when my sister was little she was treated like the baby of the house. Everyone doted on her - affection, gifts, zero responsibilities. Then I went abroad for a few years. After I returned I found her exactly the same. An overgrown baby. My mother encourages it because she likes people to need her. My sister is mostly good to me, except when I point out anything negative about her or ask her to do/stop doing something. Then she can be scathingly abusive. Is this the sort of thing you wanted to know?
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You’re welcome
Yes, that’s what I was asking and your reply isn’t surprising to me - especially your mother liking people to need her. I agree with what Bill3 said about the emotional blackmail. It’s natural that you wouldn’t want to push her away, but in the long run, to protect your own mental health it would be good to set your boundaries with her. You might well end up cutting contact with her in the end, if she can’t accept that you don’t want to tolerate her behaviour/treatment of you.
My own counsellor says that there aren’t really any “should/shouldn’ts” when it comes to how we feel about family members. Those feelings exist for a reason, and our relationship to XYZ person shouldn’t automatically trump how we feel. I used to think I “should” like my dad, for example, but the truth is, I disliked him for reasons most people would find understandable.