I am really grateful for your reply. I agree with your point about setting boundaries. I try it with my sister all the time, and it feels like an uphill struggle. I have some maternal feelings towards her and she knows how to milk them. But I acknowledge that I need to keep trying if I am to have any kind of relationship with her, no matter how anxious I feel at the thought of confronting her. There is no knowing which version of her I am going to get.

You asked me why should I feel bad about resenting my sister. I think the reason is, because I believe she loves me. Many times she does thoughtful things for me. We shared a beautiful bond when we were children. I am wary about hurting someone who loves me. But these days more and more I am feeling like her prisoner.

Again, thank you so much for taking the time to read and reply. It felt really good to get these things off my chest. Sending good vibes to you.