what would make me happy and content with my life. if I could understand that and figure that out, then perhaps I can work towards it

also what caused my life to be a mess to begin with. what was the ultimate factor, as it were
I wish I knew why my mother was so abusive towards me, when so many mothers are good to their children. so many things to help me move forward with life.
question: where do you see yourself 1 year from now?