Quote:
Originally Posted by RoxanneToto
You’re welcome 
Yes, that’s what I was asking and your reply isn’t surprising to me - especially your mother liking people to need her. I agree with what Bill3 said about the emotional blackmail. It’s natural that you wouldn’t want to push her away, but in the long run, to protect your own mental health it would be good to set your boundaries with her. You might well end up cutting contact with her in the end, if she can’t accept that you don’t want to tolerate her behaviour/treatment of you.
My own counsellor says that there aren’t really any “should/shouldn’ts” when it comes to how we feel about family members. Those feelings exist for a reason, and our relationship to XYZ person shouldn’t automatically trump how we feel. I used to think I “should” like my dad, for example, but the truth is, I disliked him for reasons most people would find understandable. |
To be honest I have considered severing ties with her on previous occasions but if I even drop a hint she cries and becomes so distraught my heart melts and we are right back where we started. I can't stand to see her in pain. Perhaps much of the problem stems from my weakness. I just want her to become an independent person and start behaving like a normal adult. I want to have a healthy, sisterly relationship with her. I wish I could make her see this.
Thank you for your solid support. You listened to me in my time of need and it means a lot to me. Hugs.