This subject has come to the surface again, as it's approaching my mother's birthday. She doesn't know what to do about the "rift" as she calls it. Asked me what I intended to do about that day. Also wanted to moan because my aunt (her sister) had told her she was visiting that day too.

My answer was firstly it's your birthday, you decide what you want to do. Everything she suggested can't be done because of lockdown. Subject then returned to the rift. Again, it was how depressed she is and can't see a way forward with this situation. I asked what I think is an important question "have you discussed the situation with my brother?" Unsurprisingly, the answer was "No". My response "why not, there's two sides to this and I won't be blamed for someone else's unacceptable behaviour". Conversation ceased as there was no point in continuing. When I left her house later, said let me know what you want to do on your birthday. Have no intention of starting an argument on her birthday.

Probably mentioned this before, but can't understand why she won't have same conversation with my brother. Think she's scared that she'll be banned from seeing her only grandchild. She commented recently that I seem to have something on both of them that I won't share with her. Yes I do, but think it would affect her health. Or, she'll say she doesn't believe me.