I've felt pretty bad today, so far. Last night I forgot my evening medications until very late (around 2 am). I truly thought I took them, but when I just can't sleep, it's clear I did. Whenever I discover this my mood heads south quickly. It is usually sort of mixed with anxiety, or depressed. Crazy stuff goes on in my head. I was thinking about up and leaving and going to Ireland, of all places. But then I imagined myself there getting sick. I then realized that I forgot my husband's cell phone number. For real. I then get this reoccurring daydream that I'll be hospitalized wherever I run away to. Then when I finally did wake up after falling asleep, I started to feel that Hubby had been distant to me. It's after 4 pm. I think only after about 1 pm did that notion start to fade. Truth is he hasn't been that affectionate lately. But then I haven't either. I actually slept on the futon last night. Partly as a rebellion because of that and also because I've been a bit physically miserable. Sleeping on the futon seems to prevent my morning back and arm pain, and minimizes numb hands.

My husband called our new GP and asked that he finally order blood tests for me. I'll go for them on Tuesday. I'm way overdue. My old nephrologist had prescribed blood pressure and cholesterol meds about a year ago, and I never once had a follow-up to see how well they're helping. The blood pressure I've monitored and it does seem improved, but I can't know about the cholesterol. I have also worried about other results. Hypochondria has set in a bit, likely because of my mood decrease.