I just called a crisis line. I only took up 7 minutes of time because I'm not in any big deal crisis. The counselor was a guy and was pretty nice.

I feel like I can't even make it to the store. So I just sit here on the couch feeling a lot of sorrow. I guess I'm disappointed that I don't feel I can call either of my sisters.

I don't feel anywhere's near as bad as this time last year. That extreme grief lifted last fall. Thank God for that. Mainly what's wrong now is I just vegetate. My legs feel weak when I try to do any housework. Since Monday I've felt unwell physically. So my apartment is messed up. I hate being in the middle of disorder.