Hi I’m new to the site and looking for advice. My husband and I are currently separated. We have been married for twenty three years. We have no children together but blended our families. I had a daughter from previous marriage and he has two sons. All children are grown and out of the house. My husband had custody of his boys when we married, so we raised them together. My daughter’s father passed away when she was 6 so my husband is the only Dad she has truly known. During our 23 year marriage we’ve had a lot of ups and downs. My husband had problems with drug and alcohol abuse, their had been some physical abuse, mental abuse in the form of jealousy and insecurity. We both are co dependent. Although I had sought out counseling for my codependency and feel I’m in a much better frame of mind. My husband kicked the drugs and alcohol problems and did that about 7 years ago. Our relationship began to be a lot more healthy since that time. In the past we would have really bad fights and arguments. He sought counseling for his bad behavior during that time and it seemed to work. There had been numerous times I thought about leaving but never did. Above all the problems and disfunction we were each other’s best friend. We had a lot of fun together and have a healthy sex life. The last 5 years together up until this past year have been the happiest in my marriage. Something major changed. He lost his job during the pandemic and got extremely depressed. Even during that depression we weren’t fighting. I was working out and dieting preparing for our daughters wedding. I was helping with the planning of the wedding and spending a good bit of time working on myself. He began arguing with me a lot, accusing me of things that weren’t happening. I had recently got into audio books and he was resenting the amount of time I spent listening to my books. The accusations got so bad and it was happening every week that I couldn’t take it any longer. He started going to counseling again and trying to sort through his feelings. Each time we fought he would regret his accusations and knew he was wrong but he would continue to do it. Basically self sabotaging our marriage. It seemed to me that as I began to become somewhat independent of him and was afraid I would leave him so he had a fight or flight response. My husband is bipolar and does take medication for it. After our last big fight four weeks ago we both decided he needed to move out and work on himself. I was walking on eggshells because he was digging in my phone, tracking me and making my life crazy. We did agree that we would continue to stay married and work on our marriage. I wasn’t giving up on him or us. He told me that he was committed on being a better husband and working through his issues so he could be here for me. I have stuck by him through all the BS because I love him and I know a lot of his problems stem from his past trauma and childhood abuse. Well three weekends ago I went out of town with his best friend’s wife for a girls weekend at Disney World. My husband and I were suppose to take this trip ourselves but he had to work that weekend so he suggested I go with our friend. One of those nights my husband choice to go out by himself to a local bar and although I really don’t believe he cheated, a women got his phone number and texted him the next morning. He didn’t text her back. I reached out to the women who side everything was platonic but that he did tell her he was divorcing and living by himself. He swears he never told her that. He told a guy in the group he was talking to that he was going through some marriage problems. I’m not stupid and I know my husband was drinking so he may have told the women that. Regardless now I’m at a serious cross roads. He has never cheated on me but again we’ve had so many other problems. Here he is claiming he wants to get himself right but continues to make bad decisions. He should have never even been at that bar by himself. Again, sabotaging our marriage. I don’t know if he’ll ever get better and I’m tired of being hurt and let down but I’m also scared of losing my best friend. I know this post is extremely long and apologize for it. I guess I just needed to get out as much of the back story as possible. Any advice on how to move forward would be appreciated.