That’s awful and I can relate. The one thing I would say is if you went to AA you would find a community of support and a spiritual program . I also was not a “big” drinker but when I did drink it let to using marijuana which led to depression. Also when I did drink, this last time, it was because the people I was around (daughter, boyfriend), were drinking. Sometimes depression is a matter of adjusting your medication and then waiting. My psych gave me a prescription for Wellbutrin which he gave me permission not to take when I expressed concern over side effects. I know I’m battling depression right now and I know the things that help me: sun, outdoors, nature, cooking, coloring.

It sounds like you are talking to all the wrong people. I don’t talk to my family , I broke up with my boyfriend, I don’t talk to my priest about my mental health issues unless it’s in confession.

You’ve been helpful to me . Feel free to private message me if you ever want to talk.