Quote:
Originally Posted by Waterbear
It's just hard trying to maintain an outward appearance of doing ok when inside I feel so much grief. Who would understand in my normal life!?! Even if they say they do, they won't know unless they have had this kind of relationship with someone and then had it taken away. Honestly, it feels like a parent is dying. She has been so much the parent I never had in an emotionally present sense and I am losing that.
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You put into words what I could not with my experience. I can relate to this so much I feel I wrote this paragraph. I lost a therapist a few months ago that meant everything in the world to me and its been almost impossible to pretend I am ok with all of this grief. Some days are harder than others but the hard days are ROUGH. Just as you wrote here, I feel like a parent died. Like I lost the parent I never had in every way you can imagine and I am left with nothing but grief and memories. Time does make it slightly easier but one thing that helps me is looking back on the work we did and how she helped me and how grateful I am for all it. That I was so blessed she was part of my life even if it didn’t last forever.
I hope you can be gentle with yourself and let yourself cry and feel all of the emotions. Just try not to get stuck in them. I am sorry you are going through this. This is a grief like no other but you have some time left to make the most of. Perhaps you could ask her for a letter or transitional object you could always hold onto?
