When there has been trauma, feelings of aversion do not necessarily prove that the current partner is unsuitable.
One must distinguish between feelings of aversion caused by the current partner, and feelings of aversion caused by the traumatic past, especially when
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He has been treating me well though.
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A (trauma) therapist can help with this.
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I have taken into account everything, and I just don't think I'm ever going to be ready.
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You sound so discouraged

. Still, I encourage you to not give up. You unfortunately could not continue with the therapist that you liked, but do try to find a (trauma) therapist that you can work with!
You mentioned borderline traits. Perhaps also consider dialectical behavior therapy, which is a known and effective treatment for those traits.