I saw my T Richard on Wednesday and he told me that the NP taking over my Pdocs patients is as we expected is taking everyone off Benzo's. I knew the day would come. Richard is furious that she is doing this.

I see her the 25th or 26th ..

I'm a very complicated person when it comes to medications of all sorts. Dr Graves ( 10 years) knew the hell we would go through to find something that worked and I could tolerate.

I plan to make a list of all psych meds and the reason I can't or wont take them for X reasons.

I have no idea nor did Richard what kind of taper she will decide upon.

I have been on some form of Benzo probably off and on, (More on) for 12+ years. Xanax also helps with my chronic pain from Fibro and PsA. My GP nor any Doctors around here will prescribe Benzo's or Pain meds unless its acute injury and then a person is taken over by a specialist. The Government has pushed Doctor into corners and every Doctor I have is disgusted by it.

Pain clinics will do nothing for someone with Fibro. My Rhuemy for PsA will give steroids if my imflamation level is too high.

I have enormous stress when it comes to my husbands heath issues. Xanax is honestly the only thing that can help me get any kind of sleep. So life long insomnia with no break in sight is what I will be looking at.

I have tried every single non benzo medication for anxiety and nothing works. There are a few that I cant even try again because I'm now on medications for physical problems that can not be mixed.

My family and friends are extremely worried what is going to happen to me and honestly they have every right to be. When I hit day 5-6 no sleep I have zero rational thought then.

I know that I am not special and people are taken off Benzo's all the time.

The emotions and thoughts I am dealing with since Wednesday are not good nor safe.