I didn’t want to go to church this morning. I felt the beginnings of anxiety and knew church would make it worse. (I go with my cousin and her husband.) I went ahead and went though because I didn’t want to upset my cousin by not going. When I’m symptomatic with anxiety, depression, or mania, she freaks out and tries to talk me out of what I’m feeling…”suck it up, buttercup” type responses. I sat there in church with all sorts of panic-inducing thoughts like, “What if I speak out while the preacher is talking? I’ll be so embarrassed.” This was accompanied by my fear of crying. The message was on “Are Christians Immune to Suffering?” I knew I would cry eventually, and I did. It hit home because my son estranged himself from me two months ago, and the pain is unbearable. Does anyone else experience the fear of doing or saying something embarrassing? It’s terrible.