i know! grrrrrr right ? dont you want just come right out and scream "shut the bleep up" at them?
you know whats kinda fun to do is to just muck it up to the max. ie "dont you just steal the show" you say sonething silly back like yes, yes i do. come one come all.. il be here nightly at 6 and 8 pm until either they boot me off stage or im dead whichever comes first ..
or "i wish i had your .." just make some sarcastic come back like talent? well ok better get going cuz it took me x # of yrs to become this talented.. or money? great! take it! then il be broke & can finally get good ol uncle sam to pay my way... or looks? oh no way.. im banking on any day now so & so famous movie star is gonna call me up to come be their double and then look out hollywoo d here i come!
perhaps you could try doing something along those lines maybe