I was abused as a child and as a spouse. I forgave all my abusers and am free to move forward now. I still talk to my parents who really screwed me in my mind and hurt me physically. I realized that as an adult one has the responsibility of taking care of oneself. If all you do is blame others for your mistakes or their abuse, you are not going to move forward with life. I realized also that because of my childhood abuse, I am attracted to abusive people. I am trying to deal with this even now.

I love my parents despite their abuse. They don't admit to abusing me in the past, but I realized they are as equally as screwed up from their childhood. Somewhere this has to stop. I decided not to have children and repeat the cycle. I thought I was in the pits for a while but realized it could have been worse for me. I could have had parents who were destitute and addicts or living in a country where there is no opportunity to leave such situations.

I am free and happy now. I am independent and always looking for ways to improve my situation. I am not young anymore so it took me some time to forgive and accept that my life is my responsibility.

I suffer from severe psychosis and mania at times and was really at the bottom again about four years ago, and my family gave me a roof over my head and food to recover. I am grateful towards them now. They could have thrown me out and told me to recover by myself. But, they did not. Sometimes even though people may be abusive in the past, they may have some good in them after all. I love my parents now for helping me in my time of need. Also, they helped me to stand on my feet again. Thus, I am working again and enjoying my freedom.

Overall, I am doing quite well in comparison to a few years ago. I don't take all of the credit for my recovery and am thankful to my family and doctor who told me to keep taking my medication. I was abused too but realized that I must go forward and deal with what I have and find what I need in life.

I say forgiving is the first step to recovery. And, for one to be free, one must take responsibility for one's life. I don't think if I kept blaming others for my pitiful life that I would be happy today.