bpforever1, You are right not to do what he wants for a number of reasons, including personal choice. It's the one thing I would never agree to.

It's good that you are now better informed on the subject. No amount of lube could take away the pain or prevent discomfort now or as you get older. Sorry, but trying to avoid being too clinical.

Whether he's good looking or not, if this guy has any respect for you, he will abide by your decision. If you don't see him again, then the answer is pretty clear.