I really wish I had had support and someone listening to me. I used SI as a coping mechanism for about 10 years, and recently relapsed, due to being faced with trauma that has recently re-bounded. I was made to feel ashamed of it, it would have been amazing if I'd had someone there supporting me, reminding me that I shouldn't be ashamed of it, and helped me learn to cope in different ways. It can be an addiction. For me there was a mix of numbing the pain, and abusing my body, but also, feeling something, from all the numbness inside. A reminder that I was alive.

I think for everyone its different, its very personal and if they aren't yet comfortable talking about it, don't push it. But let them know you are there for them and you are coming from a safe, non-judgemental space. I would also say do some research there are a couple good websites and learn more about Self-Harm and its triggers etc. I think you are doing the right thing by asking questions. They are lucky to have you in their lives.

The only thing I didn't appreciate, was being told that they knew how I felt, and that it would be ok, it made me feel worse, and like it was impossible for me to achieve that space, so just having someone be there for me would have been way better, to listen.