I am like 100% terrified right now because there is a severe thunderstorm going on and for some reason I had a bunch of dreams last night about tornadoes and trying to stay safe and not being able to. Very terrible coincidence. However there is no tornado watch or warning up and tornadoes are very rare in my state, especially in tight suburbs where I am. It really wouldn’t have much space to gather strength and touch down. The storm is already moving out anyway.

Otherwise I am feeling a bit depressed today. I have self harm urges but as long as I hold my unicorn they aren’t very strong. I’m recriminating myself again for the choice and volume of food I ate at the fair. Yesterday I also ate poorly. I haven’t had much of an appetite today but I am forcing myself to eat regular small snacks and lunch because if I don’t I will get so hungry later that I won’t be able to make good choices.

I also feel like I don’t really belong in the group I’m in. Not that I don’t need it, more like I don’t seem to have the connections with people like the other group members do. I don’t usually let my stone cold heart make connections with people anyway but it would be nice even if we don’t stay in touch. There’s one woman I connect with because I understand her feelings of anxiety and paranoia but I don’t know if it’s returned. I don’t suppose it really matters, we’re all there for ourselves anyway right?