So Sorry you're going through this! Please Do not give up! It does seem like you're wishing to reconnect with your own wife but unfortunately this is something that both of you must want for it to work i think. Have you already tried to propose couple counseling to her if you haven't tried it already? i am not sure if she'd be willing but if she accepts it may prove useful perhaps. i think it's important to remember tha toyu have value outside of your own Marriage too although i can understand this may be hard for you. Perhaps individual therapy is not a bad idea either. Do what you can to improve yourself as long as you respect others of course. Stay Safe. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @RDMercer, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!