My husband lived with a severe chronic health issue for our entire marriage, so I understand where you are coming from.

Let me make a suggestion though.

Rather than seeking validation for the past, work on renewing your relationship in the present. Set up date nights with each other. Take a trip (even a staycation). Start fresh rather than rehashing the past.

Part of my husband's struggles was mental: depression, delusion, some emotional blackmail. It was a difficult time. But he got past that (similarly to how you describe your wife), and rather than rehashing what we had been through, we chose to revitalize and reconnect. We took the time to date each other again. We renewed our commitment to our future. We regrouped and moved forward. We had to change direction rather than continuing to look backwards.

My husband's physical health never improved. I'm glad to hear your wife has had that blessing.

I lost my husband two months ago to Covid. Time is too short to lose over the past. Sit down with her and reconnect, not about the past - you both know what happened - but about the future. Time is short. My experience was that in our reconnection, I found the validation for everything I had gone through previously, not necessarily in words all the time, but certainly in action. Just don't put things on hold waiting for those words before you move forward. The words will eventually come. She knows what you did for her; she just may not be in a place to look back right now - that was a painful time for her and, if she is anything like my husband, she feels a lot of remorse for that.