I worry about this a lot, or mostly about if the feeling of attachment will stay this strong forever. I don’t contact my T a lot at all but I’m very attached to her.. when I tell her stuff I always wonder if she’s going to leave me, send me go someone else. She has told me several times that she thinks that maybe I need to learn to trust someone, and that the feelings of painful attachment (I don’t know how to explain it, English is not my first language) will fade when I do. She has told me that she won’t abandon me. Still I worry, like if I email her inbetween sessions, that maybe she’ll think that I’m to much for her to handle. Buy she knows a lot about attachment and the inner child and stuff like that so I hope that she’s right, that I will be able to leave her without to much pain when time comes.

I just wish that my inner child would understand that no matter what, my childhood has already happened. I can’t change the fact that my mum constantly acted as though I was a big inconvenience for her. My T can’t change that either. And I act so weird, sometimes I try to shut her out because it feels safer and sometimes I just want to never leave after a session, I miss her before the session even ends. It makes me feel like a child, and I hate it. But she says that she thinks that I have to accept it and stop fighting against it. I’m trying...

I’m so embarrased for this feelings of attachment but I guess that’s the reason I’m in therapy...