I'm sorry you're struggling. But keep right on going. I love the 1st ROCKY movie. I realized while watching it, fresh from initially quitting alcohol & struggling myself....That u gotta be like a fighter, to fight alcoholism off. Keep fighting it. It's really nice when you're sober for several years & u don't even want the crap, ever again. It really does end up controlling you, the deeper u sink into alcoholism. It rules your whole life. So then I remember Rocky, training & fighting hard. Have a successful day!