Wow! You summed up my feelings exactly. The last time I was in the hospital I was given a worksheet (from some book, not sure) about being afraid to heal. It questioned things like what you would LOSE if you were better. Yes, I would not want to give up my t who is the only one who seems to truly accept me unconditionally. I guess if I can't find that out of therapy, I still need to be in therapy. Hope it helps to know you are not alone.!