Yeah, having a broader context helps. On its own 'you could manage if you chose to leave' felt likte dodging the question because dependency doesn't necessarily mean you objectively can't cope without. It can mean you could technically cope, or even would be better off (like with my xT), but for some reason fear of losing the person wins out.

Sorry, didn't mean to derail the thread, I was just weirded out, since L made such a good impression so far. But this makes sense.

With xT, I still have this dull ache, like I'm missing something essential, and I just want to curl up and hibernate until I somehow get it back. Except, I know full well that's not going to happen. So it's kind of the inverse of separation anxiety, like part of me is refusing to acknowledge that it's a permanent loss? I find it so hard to make sense of my emotions.