Had a good session today. Not like 2 weeks ago, but that was a special one and they can't all be that incredible. I'm in a quandary again though (my most predictable pattern, which I see clear as day) as I was getting ready to leave I was overcome with this sudden emotion that I didn't think showed on my face but she felt it anyway and said so, I told her yes, there's something I suddenly want to say but I'll just write it down when I get home. She said something like "You can hold it." And I said yes I can. I'm not really sure I even have the words for it though so I'm having little luck writing it down. It had something to do with fear of becoming dependent again. Ego feeling trapped again! That's not all of it but I'm trying to get curious about that. This is such a regularly recurring pattern for me, that getting curious about it seems to be the only logical thing to do with it.

edited to remove some stuff that i didn't word right.