I'm sorry if I didn't catch an earlier post of yours on this. Is your son estranged from you? Did you have a fight with him? If so, I think in most cases, though it can take time, there comes peace again. At 18, it can be his journey to realize estrangement should end. Or if he's not estranged, but just more MIA, I can see that hurting some parents, but it's not at all uncommon. I think young men, in particular, like to make the break, but also some women. All parents must let go of their adult kids at some point. Not doing so is detrimental to all involved. I realize that in current generations young adults hang on to their parents longer than they used to...compared to my generation. However, there are always the young adults that are very eager to fly the coop. My siblings and I were, and it was no real reflection on my parents. And my parents only prospered after my departure (I was the youngest child of three). I had to laugh about that.

I hope you will connect with your 18 year old, but celebrate his new found independence. I am also sure your soon to be 13 year old will relish, to at least some degree, the departure of his 18 year old brother. Again, that would not necessarily be a reflection on their relationship, either. It's just natural.

Eighteen is a marvelous age, I think. It is the beginning of what I feel are the best educational years of a person's life. Not so much continued education from parents, but education in independence. And mistakes and hard knocks are among the best lessons, especially ones experienced, dealt with, and accepted mostly on/as one's own. Of course I have a particularly strong Western philosophical viewpoint. I realize others disagree, and sometimes for good reasons.