lovethesun, it's always a good decision to get her checked out for memory/early onset of dementia.

However, speaking from experience here, she may have been a difficult person all her adult life. This behaviour is often excused in later life, due to age and health issues. My mother is a fine example of following the nasty traits displayed by her mother. Have noticed she's now adopted one of her mother's habits; rubbing thumb against forefinger on her right hand. Yes, it's that specific.

She did have a suspected mini-stroke nearly three years ago; turned out it was a reaction to medication. She now has a fixation about never being in the same hospital ward again. Having visited her there and engineered the move to a more acceptable area, I can sympathise.

Friends? She has none. Doesn't bother with them. Even if she can't visit, there's still the phone. Instead she just sits in the chair thinking about family situations, wondering who's talking about her and plotting how nasty she can be to me and my aunt. My patience has run out because I've seen through the manipulative behaviour.

Unfortunately, whether the onset of dementia or just personality, your husband needs to step up and face the reality. Sorry if I' being too blunt!