I can't for the life of see any plan of God in my life still even when I'm already past my thirties. Part of me thinks if I don't hurry up and live, then I'll probably have damn little good to even remember about life. I shouldn't say that, but that's how I see it. I see myself as still having to go through therapy but getting little out of life. Every time I see the younger person I was, It makes me filled with self pity every time. That's why I think it's kind of a shame that by the time I'd enjoy it, I wouldn't be very young or even agile anymore which makes my life seem like quite a waste of my existence.