My kid years were good for a while. It's just that I remember being scorned, discarded, and made fun of. Then I grew up and it seemed to get worse over time. My youth was marked with pain and loneliness. Part of me feel like I better hurry up and live before I get too old to enjoy the fun in life. You start to feel like age catches up with you sooner or later. It makes me mad that I seem to remember all the pain and the times when I felt stabbed in the back and I acted out quite a bit too. I remember little that I care to look back on. I"m already afraid I'd become a rather bitter old woman. It's not like I"ll be that young and agile again. It made me mad to think about mother dreaming about me reaching old age and I was like ick. I have hated that thought. What instantly comes to mind are health problems and not having the agility or even the energy for sports or an active social life. I felt like telling her to just buzz off, I don't want to hear it. I'm surprised some of my dreams have happened at all. Otherwise, I'd be a worse mess. Money can buy you things and help you among people, but it can't buy you back your youth and energy.