I know you're not going to post anymore, but if you're still reading the thread and return to it, I must say, you're a total saint. I would not put up with the ******** you're putting up with. Your pure devotion is evident, even through the insults, the neglect, the repetitive breaking up, the selfishness and her mental illness. I personally could not do it, and I would have walked away. Maybe I'm selfish myself, but I tend to think of it more as self preservation. You have not really been happy in this marriage for a long time. Or, things improve, then they go back downhill again. Such a roller coaster.