So Sorry for your Loss and that you're feeling lonely! Please Do not give up! i agree with you and the wise and wonderful unaluna that that may be the depression talking. Try your best to take care of your health. It is good that you were aware enough to go to an hospital when needed. Do what you can. Stay Safe. Sorry if this post wasn't very helpful. Know that i am here and Hopefully i am not the only one either. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Rose76, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!