So I’m going to try to not break the rules here.

I don’t think the op wants to hear what I have to say so I’m not going to discuss his story.

I can speak from my own experience , when I was arguing with my ex husband , I had one person supporting my decision to divorce: my father . Most people will say it’s bad to “break up a family” but I disagree. Sometimes it’s better not to argue in front of a child.

In terms of the grey rock thing, my last relationship was with someone who showed signs of borderline personality disorder. Turns out they had aspergers instead. At any rate I could not engage in the grey rock technique.