Hi,

OP here!

OP doesn't mind if you discuss him, his story, or your own!

OP is pretty open.

Also, she lost everything. If you haven't been there, or seen it, it's devastating. How many of our friends would stay around if we were chronically ill, and in desperate nerve pain all the time? Hers didn't stay around. Those that did reached their limit of asking "how are you" and reach their limit of being supportive after a year or two.

Work and former colleagues disappear. Because so much of your pain and illness are invisible, they may or may not treat you like you were some kind of weirdo who just quit coming into work. Once short term medical benefits dry up, long term is a real fight, and one that can be hard to win. Especially when a discrete diagnosis is no where to be found.

Her family were never that good to her. She honestly grew up in a dysfunctional home, one where she was NOT the favorite. Once the additional challenge of her health emerged, her side of the family bailed on us, fully.... Including on the kids/grandkids.

My side stayed involved, sort of. They were good about some things, not good about some things. But my dad became hyper religious and righteous, and insistent with my wife. She was dealing with enough, and he wouldn't back off. I mean.... He pushed for about 3 years with her being respectful and asking him to ease up before she finally said "enough". I told him repeatedly prior to that, very clearly, but he didn't respect it. It was his calling to do this, you see.. So, we are over a year now with limited contact on my side.

Pain and isolation can produce some pretty damn bad depression. She has verbally torn me apart, and later when I've confronted her, she has said she didn't remember any of it. I've seen that before, someone with depressions with no memory of outbursts. She doesn't recognize the degree, duration, or severity of things she has said.

Psychosis... No. Severe sleep deprivation, yes. I've seen her writhe in pain for up to 5 days and not sleep. If you have ever witnessed sleep deprivation, it will drive you close to madness.

This is one of the two possibilities we are looking at now. Read the case presentation. Picture this for almost 10 years of your life.
Celiac Artery Compression Syndrome in a Middle-age Woman Treated Laparoscopically

Therapist as emotional prostitute.... Said for some shock and humor effects. But, isn't it nice to hear someone say the things you don't get to hear anywhere else? Like, you're a good person, who is trying hard. Again, going there because my wife was verbally shredding me, after a year, the therapist said, "You know this is abuse. You've just accepted it because of her illness." Yes.

The thing is, I am kind of her safe place to vent and unleash, I think. She hates herself, and her life, and any push back from me creates the fight or flight response in her... Mostly flight (divorce).

There's been a lot of emasculating comments, and a lot of comments that cut down my personal strength and my intelligence. Those hurt.