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Old Jul 18, 2021, 04:48 PM
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leomama leomama is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Feb 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 4,703
Quote:
Originally Posted by RDMercer View Post
Yes, I can live with myself. Even if this all falls apart, I can live with myself.

If we stay together, that may be harder. I'm struggling to accept a LOT of things. I feel I've been pushed to my limits. I'm finding it very hard to look past stuff.

What am I looking for? A chance to talk openly with mature people about something that really sucks. People where anything I say it doesn't come back on her personally, like if I talked in person to someone we know.

I also don't want to look like the self professed hero to any friends or family.

Sometimes you need a bit of assurance, you know?

Just trying to be real, and be solid.

RDM

I meant can you live with yourself in terms of how she is treating you, not so much if things fell apart. Incidentally that is a book that was recommended to me when I was going through a divorce, when things fall apart, by pema chodron.

I understand the need for anonymity. In a 12 step program for family and friends of alcoholics it is said we do not discuss the alcoholic.

I will also tell you as a sponsor told me, I’m interested in hearing about you , not about the other person. That is something I struggle with.

I gave up the hero role, and in my case, my mom actually blamed me for my ex husbands relapse .

You sound solid to me.