I have a close friend who told me recently that she isn't doing well, she's struggling. I'm not sure what exactly is going on since she didn't tell me but I know she suffers with anxiety/depression so probably something to do with that? She wasn't great at replying to my texts and she basically said we're very close so she wanted to tell me she is struggling and that's why she isn't texting me back. I said no problem. I asked a couple of times if she wanted to talk about whatever she is going through and she avoided those messages. I then said in a later conversation "I asked if you wanted to talk about it and you didn't reply so I didn't want to push you" and all she replied to that was "aww" so I thought, okay not sure what to say to that - I just let her know I'm here for her. She then just went back to texting me normally, like normal light-hearted conversations, so I went along with that. Then she stopped replying to my texts (It was a month ago she said "I'll reply later" and she still hasn't). She's just been sending me random posts on social media which maybe is her way of maintaining communication with me while she isn't texting back, I don't know.

I have tried to be very patient and understanding of the fact that she is going through a tough time and therefore isn't texting me back, but it's getting harder. I feel so hurt. This whole time she's been leaving me on read, she's been posting on social media, pics of her and friends, she's been having conversations with others on group chats and stuff. In fact, yesterday she finally texted me, but again, it was just a link to a YouTube video and her starting a new conversation with that, completely ignoring all the texts above it from a month ago that she still hasn't replied to, she didn't even acknowledge them. Sometimes, it feels like she thinks I'll always stick around and that we're so close, that she doesn't need to put in effort, or that she got so used to sending me posts on social media that I always replied to, that she didn't need to bother texting me back. I haven't replied to the new text she sent me because I just feel really down and don't want to talk to her right now.

The thing is, I feel extremely selfish for feeling this way. Why can't I be more empathetic that she is struggling? Why can't I just be happy that she's maintaining some conversation with me via social media instead of expecting a text back? A few months ago I brought up how it hurt that she constantly left me on read for days at a time but she didn't really explain anything, she just apologized but nothing really changed and I never understood the reason behind it. Another time I also mentioned how sometimes I feel sad that I don't hear much about what she gets up to in her life, but nothing changed so I stopped sharing little things about my life too.

I'm just not sure what to do. I will text her back eventually but I have a bad habit of my texts coming out kind of blunt and cold when I'm upset like this. I don't want to talk to her about how I feel since I've tried before and don't want to come off as bothersome and a beg. I don't want her to text me back just because she feels obligated to. I'm just kind of tired of friends doing this to me (another friend also always forgets to text me back and it's someone I have been there for through so much, always listening to them vent and trying to support them. I will say though, the friend that this post is about, she has been there for me through tough times as well and I am extremely grateful for that but I think it's another reason why I feel selfish for not being more patient with her right now).