Thanks Hope.

I also feel guilt for things I got wrong at different times. It is only recently, through therapy, that I realized I'm human.... Just human when it comes to mistakes, and human enough to have human needs, and I'm not evil or a bad person for saying I need sex and attention and positivity, and maybe I even deserve it.

Insisting on change becomes a game of chicken... If I insist too much, she's out. She's told me she is aware of all her failings and the burden she is and has been to all of us for years. To be reminded of more she isn't doing, and she wants out. The constant threat of divorce has made me keep my mouth shut about a lot of stuff for a long time.