Just trying to stay hopeful for things to change.

Pros and cons....

Cons... Location will change. We live in a residential area outside of the city. Loss of income/splitting income will most likely mean she and I renting apartments.

I see that as being really stress inducing for the kids, including changing schools.

I have definitely reached points where all I could come up with was financial. I have definitely reached points when the relationship wasn't providing me with much, and if I could magically maintain my income, I wouldn't have been missing much. That really hurts to say or admit to anyone. I haven't revealed that before. Voicing it reduces my hope.

I'm hoping to regain or create an emotional connection, but my hope for that keeps slipping away.

A person can mistake a feeling of constant longing for love.

Pros..... I'd be forced to get to know myself. Overall, I think I'd have more time. The arguments and demands are time consuming each week. For the kids it would be like finally ripping the band aid off; just get it over with. They fear mom and me splitting. There is constant anxiety about that since years for them, I know. For my wife, I think she may flourish. I think she feels I've held her back. In the absence of having me to blame, she would be more forced to move forward, and I think she could.

Tough question Bill.

UPDATE - she agreed to pursue counselling with me. We actually got in tomorrow due to a cancellation, a Gottman CBT coach.