Razzleberry, I think those are all really good ideas. I like the idea of not "correcting" him so much when he does do jobs. I know when I try my hardest to do something and the response I get is that I didn't do it quite right, it makes me feel rejected and like "why bother?" It is good to give positive reinforcement for what they do, even if it is a bit different from how we would have done it.

I'm curious what are the other of the 5 languages of loving besides acts of service and physical touch? That sounds like an interesting book.

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Razzleberry said:
I do think our marriage can still be saved, if I can control my bad behaviors, and communicate better with him.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">That is good. I'm wondering though, what about him? This may not be the case for you, but in my own marriage it was not enough for me to change my behavior and actions, even though I did until I was exhausted with the effort. Both my own therapist and our kids' therapist have pointed this out to me. In a relationship that was in difficulty, I kept thinking of how I could change to make it better, what I could do and say to make it better, etc. I never considered it was a 2 way relationship and so I shouldered all the burden on making the marriage succeed on myself. I never expected the other person to change or try or do anything to help save the relationship. So if I was doing it all again, I would try to follow the advice of these professionals and not try to do it all myself. I would try to have open communication and provide space for the other person to say how he was going to change, what things he was going to do. And if he didn't see that he had a role in the success of the relationship, then I would not be so dumb and stay together so long. Now that I look back on it, it seems obvious to me that both people should contribute in that way, but somehow when I was in it, I thought it should all be me. I have done the same thing in other relationships. I sure hope I can learn this time and stop doing this.

I wish you luck, Razzleberry and especially applaud you for wanting to have good communication. I think this piece is really key.