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sarahsweets
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Default Jul 21, 2021 at 09:48 PM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by WovenGalaxy View Post
I'm talking to my T about this this week. I know what I want though. I want to take a break from communication with him. I've been feeling weird about this because we ARE so close, and I HAVE leaned on him often in the last few months. I'm worried it will seem weird, to him, to someone, that now I want to be apart. Like maybe it makes me seem unstable / wishy washy. ? Maybe I should not care what he or anyone might think about that.


I think it's also important that I say...he values my friendship a lot. I value his too, but I'm sick of getting hurt every time we talk.


It's also important, I think to say this: when we talked, he mentioned that he feels bothered by things I do too, and struggles to say them. He said he thought this was how relationships / friendships are. I'm not so sure. I think friendships / relationships are varied there's many kinds, but if one person is unhappy and doesn't want it, that's ok. It's just really hard to say that to him.

I know somebody here (it was Britedark, Hi Britedark) said I can do it any way that fits my personality. I might text him after I talk with my t. I may give him the option, if he wants, to talk on the phone. But I honestly don't want to talk on the phone. It's too hard for me. And honestly, I wasn't sure if he was trying to be manipulative / hurtful when he said "you do things that bother me too." It worked.


Bottom line: it was hard to talk directly to him. I choked. But in my heart I know 2 things: we care about and like each other, he is not a good fit for friendship for me at this time.


I'm really struggling with thinking its weird that I want to distance myself. Is it weird? This all started after he said those discouraging things about my interview. But I have distanced myself from him before, honestly. Last summer I didn't talk to him for like 3-4 months.

It’s very hard to set boundaries and be direct especially with friendships. I know sobriety helped me learn how to do this. I’m not saying you have to have an addiction to learn this either LOL. But in the very beginning I used to lean on other women friends to support me for important conversations like this. In fact I was told a text is fine if a conversation will make you choke.

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