So Sorry for your Losses! Please Do not give up! Hugs. i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters that you all deserve to be Loved and to contact a therapist whom is practicing some modern methods. Love. i Hope things will improve really soon for everyone. Please do update us if you want if that is possible. From what you wrote you seem like a wonderful parent. Stay Safe. Be Strong. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Jelzig65, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!