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Originally Posted by Waterbear
Thanks Corbie.
I really do hope so. I hope we can find a way to end this properly, at least.
And I think you are right about people not really understanding what it feels like. Though the couple of friends and my OH that I have spoken to about it did seem to at least be very compassionate. It's very new for me to open up to people, especially about something so private, so I am proud of myself for reaching out, and I am grateful they were there.
I have emailed my Old T, maybe I will start up with her again. Maybe. I don't know right now, and maybe that's ok. Maybe I need some time too.
I am struggling to describe how I feel right now. Heartbroken. Confused.
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I'm glad you reached out and found support! Compassionate responses go a long way. And not relying too much on therapy for support is also safer. And yeah, I think it's ok not to know. This must be hugely disorienting, both the pain itself and the disruption of what the two of you built, so it might not be easy to even figure out all of your (possibly conflicting?) needs.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Waterbear
Comrademoomoo, thank you for seeing my pain. It really means so very much that there is a place where people do understand on some level.
I wholeheartedly agree that I should have my five months. And my final (of four, oh dear) emails said that I need to have that. That if she thinks I deserve better, then give me better, basically. Not now. Not with all of this going on, but one day. When she feels she can. I don't think I will get it, I really don't, but I do feel like I need to fight for it. I do feel like I owe it to the parts of me that were just entering into this work to at least stand up and protest at this. To fight for what we believe we need.
Honestly, u don't know what the answer is myself. I keep flitting between thoughts and feelings. I keep changing my mind and my viewpoint. I don't think that there is anything called ideal now, sadly. I think that ship sailed a while ago.
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I agree that you owe yourself(yourselves?) to fight for what you need, and from what I see you're doing an admirable job. But this is also still very fresh, so it's only natural that you're confused and your feelings and thoughts are all over the place. I really hope that what you need and what she can give becomes closer as you both do your own healing
