Hello! I was re-reading this thread as I find that it helps when I am having a low and feel like I am not progressing. What makes me frustrated and angry at times the most is yes that I put in all of my effort, time, feelings, kids lives, time, love, time, physical intimacy, time, emotional intimacy, time...yes I've mentioned time the most as I believe time to be the most valuable commodity one can give. All of my spare time (my entire kid free weekends), most weeknights etc were spent with this person. I didn't go out with friends or family and always chose her. All of the late night phone calls every single night we weren't together before bed. All of the foot rubs, massages, leg rubs, scalp massages, hair playing, sex, cooking for her, driving her to the hospital at all times of the night for illness.....So much time...and this person truly didn't understand or know how I felt, hence always doubting me, not trusting and questioning my love.

What has also stuck with me was that I was told every couple of months that I wasn't able to "put myself in someone elses shoes"...I would also hear her out what she had to say regarding her insecurities but 99% it was based on what she thought I was feeling or thinking or behaving and it was 100% false and untrue so I did not agree with her. I can hear her and see where she was coming from but I would not agree. It's like if I didn't agree with her and go along with her false narrative then I somehow was not capable of putting myself in someone elses shoes and that hit me hard. I was also called dismissive, again but I did not agree with her frame of mind on her opinion of my feelings or my heart. I am neither of those things projected upon me. Just thinking about it hurts a lot at this very moment still.