Thanks a lot for your answers. More are always welcome.

To answer my own question, I only have a few memories of my childhood. Considering the years of youth and even my more recent past, I can recall it, but I am very insecure regarding my interpretations of it. It's like moving chess pieces in the fog. Sometimes the form and texture is that of a queen, other times of a pawn. I am not certain if my emotions cause the shift or the shift causes the emotions. It seems likely that both is true.

Sometimes I think ignoring my past is best, not moving past it, but pretending it doesn't exist, so it cannot pull me down.