I see two therapists, my college counselor and a therapist my insurance pays for. I see both of them once a week.

My college counselor disclosed something last week because I was sharing with her how I called off an engagement a month before the wedding. She told me that she was in love with 2 men in college and one asked her to marrry him and she had to break the news to the other one whom she loved too, she said she never saw him again after that and knew it was very painful to him and to her...

She told me before she disclosed that that its ok to disclose someting in therapy if it is beneficial to the therapeutic process or relationship. I had just written her a journal piece the prior week about the fact that I didn't know anything about her apart from the fact that she is a counselor and that that doesn't make her an immediate viable person to trust. Perhaps she felt the need to share something with me, to allow me trust her more. I don't know.

I also wrote something similar to my other therapist who I have been seeing since Mid January of this year (this therapy stuff is very new to me.) I am still not totally trusting. Anyways, when I saw her this past week she asked what I would like her to share with me that would allow me trust her more. I so wanted to ask if she had been abused......but I couldn't do it, I just retorted to saying, I guess I just need more time...how dumb is that of me....ugh.....its been 4 months ......what more do I need....So she didn't share anything lol.....

I guess in a way I really want to know. I want to know that I am not "damaged goods"....that I can actually be "normal" so to speak.

I'd like to know others who have actually been through similiar experiences who live happy lives......I just pretend to be happy.....what I wouldn't give to be "real"...

Hanging on