I would say what hit me hard was that it felt like it was a shot to my personal character. I know I'm a great person and was raised right. I have a huge heart and very much care about people and more so in the one that I am with as a partner. I give things my all and give all of me, my time, my attention, my emotions. If something is bothering someone I am always there to listen and talk through what is going on. I would be told that I am dismissive and can't put myself in someone elses shoes. It would be an endless cycle. She would tell me what her issue was, I would listen, respond calmly and tell her that I hear her and that what she was thinking or accusing was not true. It usually pertained to my feelings about her in a negative way is what she perceived. Such as I was not into her as much as she was to me, or I didn't love her as much as she loved me, or she would thinking I was thinking about someone else during sex and I could go on forever. I would reassure her that whatever she was thinking that I was thinking or feeling was false. And only because I did not agree and go along with her false narrative, then I'm not able to put myself in someone's shoes??? Well my feet can't feet in those shoes as they must be do big and I was always stumbling and falling in those shoes....There are a lot of cold mean people out there or sociopaths and narcissists. I am none of those and have a huge heart so to be told I am lacking something that I KNOW that I am not repeatedly really makes me frustrated, hurt and angry because it's coming from the person I loved the most (besides my kids).