I've felt exactly this over the last 5 or 6 years. Maybe longer. In the last couple of months it's turned in the other direction, where suicide doesn't seem like a bad idea. I don't have any advice because I've not been successful at turning this around, though over the last couple of days things are much less dire to me, so maybe. What I can offer is that you should address it. I think letting it fester is probably just going to allow it to get worse.

I wish you the very best of luck. I know how you are feeling and it's not a fun way to live life.