So Sorry for what you're going through! Please Do not give up! Hugs. i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters about Hoping that you will be Safe. i am not sure if i can relate but definitely try to find some distractions perhaps. i Hope you're currently seeing a therapist, if not that may be Helpful. If things get worse Please do not hesitate to go to an hospital. Be Strong. Please do update us if possible if you want to. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @mssweatypalms, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!